11/6/1255
Malachai has decided to take me with him into the Ruby District to pursue a lead concerning the Tarlight cult. I would be lying if I said I felt no apprehension. His briefing was… sobering. The district is dangerous in ways I am only beginning to understand, and the eldritch curse that grips Luyarnha continues to elude me, no matter how many questions I ask.
Father Ralt has borne my curiosity with endless patience (bless him) and Malachai, to his credit, has shown a genuine willingness to teach. I am grateful for both. Still, knowledge comes slowly here, and the weight of what I do not know presses heavily upon me.
The people of Luyarnha suffer. That truth is impossible to ignore. Though I remain an outsider, I cannot look upon them and see anything other than souls worthy of protection. I hope, in time, to earn their trust; not through grand gestures, but through constancy. Through being present. Through easing their burdens where I can, even if only a little at a time. I know I have much to learn. I know I wasted precious time when I first arrived. Regret is a quiet and constant companion, but it serves no purpose now. I cannot change what has been. I can only move forward.
Malachai spoke today of the Chapters, of cooperation, of structure and unity. His words gave me much to think on. I believe I may propose something to him soon: that I work independently of the Salvation Chapter, moving among the people, listening to their fears, addressing their needs where they arise. Ending their troubles entirely may be impossible, but ending them briefly still matters. I need to do this. I must do this.
I need to understand more. The curse: its origin, its nature, its limits. Can it be cured? Can it be undone? Or is “peace” here destined to be something fragile and fleeting? And if so, is fleeting peace still worth pursuing?
My grandmother intended this place as punishment for my insolence. For a time, it was. Yet the longer I remain, the clearer it becomes that I am meant to be here, now, in this moment. I only wish I understood my purpose more clearly. I want to be Luyarnha’s guardian. I want to stand between its people and the darkness that preys upon them. But wanting is not enough. I must ask myself whether I possess the strength and will to earn their faith.
Only time will answer that question.
For now, it is enough to know that I have touched lives, however briefly. If I can ease even a single soul’s suffering, then perhaps this path, uncertain as it is, is the right one.